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Dating is so difficult......... Sort by:
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RadioE911
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Posted on Wed, Dec 07, 2005 22:29

I am sitting here tonight, wondering why things have to be so difficult. Do you think that we make our lives difficult ourselves or is things just meant to be? I am a single mother of four difficult but wonderful teenagers. I have tried getting out and dating but when I do it turns out to be disastrous for us all. So I have just quit trying. I go to work and than back home and sit and watch TV on my days off. I have become a hermit. After ending an 17 yr marriage and being single for four years, I have found myself very alone and bored. I can't even find anything interesting to say or at least catching to anyone I do happen to meet. Anyone have any reasonable suggestions on getting me out of this rut?


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ArmyCIDAgent
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Posted on Mon, Aug 14, 2006 22:14

This is to all about dating...I have done research on dating in the past, why is everyone looking and no one finding. I have found that both women and men don't really know what there looking for in life or a relationship. Some women are bi sexual and some men are as well. That is not going to keep your marriage going. you need to find a man or a woman that's rocks your world. remember your first love how good you felt as you get older it gets harder to find that love again. I know I have been looking for a long time and have come up empty handed many times. So stop sitting on the shelf go out and find your destiny and your soul mate...


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Posted on Thu, Jun 15, 2006 13:01

Hello Radio. I can completely empathize with the way you are feeling. I too am a single parent, however my girls are toddlers (3 and 1) When a marriage ends you go through a barrage of emotions that can range from utter devastation, to relief. The point is that being alone can be difficult. However it is possible to be happy and alone. I was listening to the radio the other day on my way home and I heard a comment that really touched my soul. The caller had just ended an abusive relationship (emotional abuse) and she had to go to counseling to deal with her feelings of hopelessness. She came away with something that I thought was so profound....there is no such thing as Mr. Right, or Mrs. Right for that matter. We are all imperfect and subject to thoughtless acts, its just human nature. Anyway, in therapy she learned the importance of doing self evaluation to find out areas where she needed improvement. Use this time alone to work on loving yourself and regaining your self worth and self confidence. As you work on these things a man worthy of your time will notice this and will find you. Be good and kind to yourself. Pursue goals that you once thought unattainable. As far as the loneliness part goes, join a women's group and go out for fun activities. Remember you can be in a relationship and still be lonely (this might even be the worst kind of loneliness) All best to you.


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RadioE911
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Posted on Sun, May 21, 2006 19:11

Thanks for your comment...I have not improved on any of my dating skills. But I recently moved to Florida and I have a new job. I haven't gotten out much so I haven't been compelled to even start the dating game. My children stayed in Tennessee. They are young adults now, so here I am. I have read several books lately and have wore the keys on the keyboard down. LOL! LabLuvr, I do agree with you about the games. Life is too short to play these mental games with people. Be straight and mature about the situation or go away...! Thanks all for you comments and advice.


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Posted on Sun, May 07, 2006 04:56

Radio, I came across this and felt compelled to throw in my two cents worth. I hit that 17 year mark and had had enough of the verbal and mental games (which still go on but to a lesser degree). Besides my two daughters (one starts college shortly and the other is 13, which my ex makes it difficult to do much with them), and my job, there's a lot of time leftover to stew about life. Focus on the better things and throw yourself into a few of your productive hobbies. As for dating, I've given up on a lot of it, as it seems so many folks seem to have an agenda of some sort. However, there are a few, but I try to get to know them through general conversation first in places like a book store, etc. It's hard when your set in your ways and have lived a lot of your adult life through your children, but be flexible, patient, and always be yourself.


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lostcelt
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Posted on Sun, Apr 02, 2006 17:46

I haven't been able to read all the things written to you but the most important is you have to be happy with yourself, and about yourself. I somewhat understand I wasn't married for as long, and I only have one daughter (13 is an wierd age for girls) who lives with her mom, I'm military and have been my whole life. Enough of that when you can be happy by yourself than you can be truly happy with anyone else. I had to learn this myself and it hurt learning it but....


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RadioE911
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Posted on Wed, Mar 29, 2006 17:53

Thankyou all for your advice. I will try to look at things the way you have mentioned. Things do look better out of rose colored glasses. :) Speaking of change. I have changed jobs and really thinking of moving to Florida w/my sister. I think 37 years in this small town is long enough. The kids are grown, now it's my time. Wish me luck!


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Aussie_Chic_01
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Posted on Tue, Mar 28, 2006 23:14

I live in a small outback town in Australia. I watch my friends go to the pub every fri night looking for Mr Right and answer their phone calls every sat afternoon when they come up empty handed. Yet funnily enough, they wont even attempt the internet. I have tried explaining about the difference between having the choice of 50 guys and millions. No luck. I on the other hand, think it'd great that we are no longer restricted to what is in our own back yard.


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aml
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Posted on Tue, Mar 28, 2006 16:09

You are Beautiful and Blessed with four beautiful children as well. Before you even think of dating, you must be happy with yourself from the inside and out. Your attitude is important of what you become as a whole person. Get involved with what makes you happy. Get away from negativity. Be around positive people and change the appearance of your heart and soul. Wake up and smell the roses around you and make each day a better day because change is always a good thing. When you build up your confidence and your self-esteem, you will project to others how happy and uplifting you are to many people you come across with. You will have alot to say and you will be noticed by people who are close to you. Life is filled with challenges everyday. What makes it better is our attitude to change things from bad to good. So lift your Spirits high and you will be surprised at good things that is yet to come. I don't know you but I can tell that you have a Great Heart, not a broken one...Aloha to you from across the miles...Hawaii :)


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RadioE911
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Posted on Thu, Jan 19, 2006 04:21

Lawman I would consider it....give me an email...and I will discuss the offer. Lisa


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Lawmanaz
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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 15:19

Radio: I agree that it is all too easy to fall into a rut. Would you consider taking on-line college courses? I think you might discover how stimulating it can be to voice your opinions, and comment on the opinions of others. From me to you. Lawman


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RadioE911
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Posted on Wed, Dec 21, 2005 22:01

I know where you are coming from...and picking that man that mimics his inner child would be sooo easy to do. I guess that is what bothers me the most as far as dating. Glad to know there is someone out there that knows how I am feeling. Thanks :)


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slickchick
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Posted on Wed, Dec 21, 2005 09:03

I have BIG TIME empty nest syndrome.. I am soooo close with my children I was a single mom for those 13 years..Dad was not around AT ALL..I was NOT a woman..survival and them were my two proirities..and now to think of ONLY ME and as a WOMAN with needs..is very difficult.. Another thing that is weird is..I don't have the same drive..when working hard to keep them happy..I had an incentive..which I now don't have..but that is part of ME shuttin down on myself.. I have to find that woman..and the need to please HER..but it is REALLY hard.. I wish now..I had an outside activity that had my interest..EVEN ONE to go and spend time with adults and just focus on me..but alas..I let all those areas go too.."-( Tis WHY I hesitate getting a man in my life..I might just pick one to mimic infancy..lmao..and get that third child I always longed for...YIKES...


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RadioE911
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Posted on Tue, Dec 20, 2005 21:38

Thankyou for your two cents. We tend to forget about ourselves when we focus completely on our children, don't we. Do you find yourself getting empty-nest syndrome as your children are learning how to fly and you find yourself alone more and more? Slowly it must be....the practice thing sounds like it may be fun....lol!


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slickchick
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Posted on Sun, Dec 18, 2005 17:56

Practice, practice & MORE PRACTICE..lmao...it does get easier.. Just have FUN when you go out..and force yourself to go out...just to get out and LIVE... I say this...because...I too was a hermit for 13 years...and NOW am paying the price...my kids r almost grown..getting one ready for college..and it is soooo hard on me..ONLY BECAUSE I focused my life on THEM..and forgot about me and HOW TO LIVE ALONE..do it slow..and with them around..so you have the BEST of BOTH worlds...then as they fly...you stay grounded too... Just my two cents...


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