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Happy blogs?? Anybody??

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Sarah, I remember a time when a "shag" was a haircut. (!!!!!!) (Yes, I know I'm dating myself, but 48 is the 'new 25', don't ya know?) ;-)

Posted on Aug 31, 2006 at 06:41 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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Here is another one...this one is even better: BANGKOK, Thailand - A burglar who broke into a small grocery shop in northern Thailand was caught after he hid under the store owner?s bed, drank a few beers and started snoring, police said. The robber broke into the grocery in Uthai Thani province, 125 miles north of Bangkok, in the middle of the night, stole a few beers and quickly sought cover when he heard the owner of the shop stirring, police Capt. Prasert Hiewchawna said Wednesday. The robber made a bad situation a bit worse by choosing to hide under a bed in the shop ? the same bed that the owner was sleeping on at the time, he said. While waiting to flee, the robber drank a few of the stolen beers, passed out and started snoring so loudly that he woke up the shop?s owner, who quietly called police. First of all, let me say what we?re all thinking. He passed out after a few beers? Did he weigh 50 pounds soaking wet? That must be how got under the bed since he?s so thin. And did he just break into the store to steal beer? You know you can buy beer at the store now. You can even make it in your bathtub. The store owner said he was shocked someone would do something so stupid, but overjoyed that he finally got to meet a member of the Kennedys right in his hometown.

Posted on Aug 31, 2006 at 09:34 AM Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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K Aussie I've got a funny for ya. This is an account of a dumb bank robber that gets caught. Its hilarious LOWELL, Mass. - A man who held up banks by claiming he had a bomb in a bag was arrested after police found the bag actually contained books, including a phone book that had a mailing label with the man?s full name and address. George Melendez was arrested Thursday at his home in Lowell and charged with the Jan. 6 robbery of a bank in Dracut. Police said he is also likely to face charges in bank robberies in Lawrence and Salem, N.H. Melendez would go into each bank and hand the teller a note that said he had a bomb and would set it off if they refused to hand over the money. It should also be noted the notes were written in crayon. Each time, he would leave with the cash and leave the bag behind as a final threat. After he hit a bank in Lawrence, Mass., police found the ?bomb? bag filled with tangled wires and some books, one of which was a phone book with his name and address labeled on the cover. My God Watson, I think this is a clue. Police went to the address listed and placed him under arrest. He complained of chest pains and was taken to a nearby hospital. Doctors told reporters he is in stable but stupid condition.

Posted on Aug 31, 2006 at 09:28 AM Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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okay that was good ian, I had to share it with my air traffic controller friend back in CA.

Posted on Aug 31, 2006 at 07:03 AM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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Ok, how about some laughs? Got this a while back, and it always seems to make people giggle...Enjoy! ianw3 The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world. Kept me in tears for along time. >> >> Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" >> >> Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" >> >> ========================================================= >> >> "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." >> >> "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" >> >> "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" >> >> ========================================================== >> >> From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing >> bored!" >> >> Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself >> immediately!" >> >> Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!" >> >> ========================================================== >> >> O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a >> Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound." >> >> United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little >> Fokker in sight." >> >> ========================================================== >> >> A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting >> to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known >> position?" >> >> Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." >> >> ========================================================== >> >> A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out >> after touching down. >> >> San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of >> the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit >> off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport." >> >> ========================================================== >> >> There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing >> because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air >> Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a >> >> B-52 >> >> that had one engine shut down."Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded >> seven-engine approach" >> >> ========================================================== >> >> Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and >> returned to the gate. >> >> After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked >> the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?" "The pilot was >> bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant. >> >> "It took us a while to find a new pilot." >> >> ========================================================== >> >> A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the >> >> following: >> >> Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" >> >> Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." >> >> Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in >> Germany. Why must I speak English?" >> >> Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): >> >> "Because you lost the bloody war" >> >> ========================================================= >> >> Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency >> 124.7" >> >> Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after >> we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." >> >> Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact >> Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?" >> >> Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes,we >> copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers." >> >> ========================================================= >> >> One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of >> the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned >> around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the >> DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. >> >> Did >> >> you make it all by yourself?" >> >> The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real >> zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll >> have enough parts for another one." >> >> ========================================================= >> >> The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a >> short-tempered lot. >> >> They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get >> there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that >> we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt >> ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. >> >> Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." >> >> Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." >> >> The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. >> >> Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" >> >> Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." >> >> Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been >> to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it >> was dark, -- and I didn't land." >> >> ========================================================= >> >> While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight >> departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a >> United 727. >> >> An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, >> >> screaming: >> >> "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! >> >> I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! >> Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference >> between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed >> crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything >> up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move >> till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about >> half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, >> and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" >> >> "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control >> communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US >> Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in >> her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was >> definitely running high. >> >> Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, >> >> asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

Posted on Aug 30, 2006 at 02:58 PM Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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What I do to "lighten up". Go tandem skydiving (for a rush that lasts for days!) Start singing some Sean Paul in front of my teenaged kids. (Hey, what's the point of having teenagers, if you can't 'play' with them every now and then? Send a quirky wink, or reply to a person on this site. (I love it when a guy asks me if my teeth are real, or something like that!) Hmmmm let me think, I'll get back to you with more... How about some others?? :-)

Posted on Aug 30, 2006 at 09:48 AM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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I have the best story!! I was out at William Creek bumming around the pub for a couple of weeks (I used to go work out there for keep during the day and party witht he tourists all night). I met this guy while I was out there who was passing through. Well, it was one of those one thing led to another things. Yeah anyway, the next day I found out he had just been released for questioning over a murder inthe top end!! Apparently he fit the description perfectly. Same appearnace, same car the whole bit!! Turns out it was a mistake (I know this for certain because my brother actually arrested the murderer a few months later) but trust me, that was not a situation I could have escaped from eaily. William Creek has a population of 14. It is essentially a pub a caravan park and a landing strip. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide!! Like I said, turns out it wasn't him but boy, I can assure you I was a hell of alot more careful after that!!

Posted on Aug 30, 2006 at 07:08 AM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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So I have long yet entertaining blogs?? okay I'll take that. As long as they are entertaining. I would imagine my shorter ones are less entertaining. for instance here I was going to ask if anyone enjoys french fries and mayo. I had that in Amsterdam and it was great but I swear the idea makes my stomach turn back here in the states. but hey let's take it from there, yes, I've been to Amsterdam. I went to Sweden to visit my best friend the summer my husband (who was not my husband at the time) was on his first west pac (a 6 month cruise from the U.S. west coast to the persian gulf and back). the man and I were then broken up because he didn't think he could do the whole 6 month thing with a girl back home, ya know, gotta keep yourself single incase you meet any interesting girls in port...like say while he was in AUSTRALIA, but I'm not bitter,no, I'm totally cool, love the australians...hhahaha!! Anyhow... So I went to sweden in May of 2000 then my girlfriend and I traveled around. a quick run down of our exploits include watching the chip and dale male dancers and then being invited to the after party... and later as we traveled I some how ended up getting overly friendly with like every fricking conceige at every hotel we stayed at for more than a day! okay it was only two, one in Paris and one in Niece, but seariously it was getting a little crazy. Especially in Niece where we had to do topless sun bathing and I ended up lobstered only to be pursued by the conciege boy who spoke very very very little english and I called rico savvy. Better was that night before hand when my girlfriend and I had gone out to eat and I ordered this salad that I thought had "grilled fish" on it. The waiter was like are you sure you want this it is lightly grilled blah blah blah. yeah sure budy I love fish hook me up. to his credit he tried to talk me out of it. I obviously had stupid american written across my forhead in big letters though I thought i was totally blending my scandinavian/european ways. yeah it was lightly grilled. lightly grilled and really uncooked fish. like maybe they set it down down on a grill that had been hot an hour before for about 5 seconds. ugh!! anyhow so that was a bust. then my girlfriend and I played our favorite game, find the americans. We would zero in on the cutest american men of course and then one of us would go up and find out for sure if we were right, we were always right. anyhow so she ends up hooking up with some guy from a town just north east of San Diego of all places and in the following weeks over e-mail and phone he in turn begins to freak her out by telling her about how he has dreams about her and his dream therapist has helped him interpret them to mean he should be with her forever. that was a short romance. I on the other hand never see any off my european want to be lovers again. I did return to the states and meet up with a girlfriend who had just finish a semester in Australia (always back to Australia)at a bar in San Diego and we ended up getting hit on by two guys from Switzerland. We had a good laugh at that, and I had a fairly nice shag ;)

Posted on Aug 30, 2006 at 06:14 AM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report